Have you ever felt like something big, heavy, hard to handle was coming at you?

I have. Pretty often.

It’s like an alarm that tells me I’m about to fall again.
It’s like my body is warning me, telling me: “Hey, here we go. It’s coming back. Hold on tight.”

It’s just like the waves. You see them coming, so strong and impetuous and stubborn like the wind. And you don’t know what to do.

The first times it happened I didn’t know what to do.
I used to get angry at anyone, I blamed anyone, especially myself. And the harder the wave hit me, the angrier I became, hurting myself more and more.

I then understood that behavior would eventually lead me to drowning.
So I started swimming, I tried.
But it wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

It’s like constantly being at the mercy of the tide and you don’t even know where it’s leading you, to the dry land or against the rocks.

Anyway I will keep swimming.

Sometimes I’m so lucky I don’t have to swim by myself, and that’s great.

It’s easier when you have somebody to hold your hand and bring you back afloat.

It’s easier when someone reminds you it’s worth swimming and staying afloat, no matter how hard it is and how tasty letting yourself go into that whirlwind that keeps bringing you down seems to be.

It’s easier when someone comes leading you to the shore.

It’s awesome to know you have someone to count on when you can’t count on yourself.

I hope you always have that someone ready to throw you their life vest, when you can’t get one by yourself.

Make sure that you’re that someone – at least for those you care about.

Dedicated to every single person we lost in the black sea of our society – depression.



  1. Anonymous

    Hi Sted,
    My name is Belinda and I live in The Netherlands. What a gifted person you are! Writing, making music and drawing it all comes naturally to you it seems. But than you tell us in your blog and tweets about your mental health issues, thank you for that. Sometimes it seems that everybody is better and more perfect in daily life than I am. I know I am not alone but it is good to seeing someone who is fighting the same battle…


  2. Monica Erickson

    My name is Monica Erickson, I live in South Dakota, USA. I really love reading what you write. You’re such a talented writer, and always right on the mark with your opinions. Mental illnessess are a BITCH. This blog post struck a chord with me bcuz I’ve felt like I was drowning and that I wanted to let it happen. I’m also always there for those I love. Thanks for this.

    Liked by 1 person

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